I was 13, when it was revealed to me
Through some self-exploration,
That spot beginning with the seventh letter of the alphabet…
It was then I discovered that orgasms come in pairs,
Like shoes…
And if I kept my hand steady…
I’d have a new pair every time…
That was until one night I was violated
By the sound of my grandma knocking
Asking me if my stomach hurt because of all the moaning
She pushed the door open and found me naked,
From the waist down, with my hands
Between the places my mother told me where babies came from…
And said, “You know that’s illegal?”
So I removed my hand from that southern place
I had just begun to be acquainted with and contemplated the idea,
“Masturbation is illegal?”
So do they ticket you for your first offense?
Do you pay a hefty fine?
Or do they give you a warning, the first time?
Would I be housed in a cell?
Eating bologna sandwiches and drinking little hug juices
While women named Big Mattie and Lola asked me, “
What are you in for?”
Big brother was watching and
I shuddered at the thought of my day in court,
As they read the charges,
“People versus the Masturbator!”
I shuddered at the thought and
Tucked away all the urges I had
And lived in constant fear every time
I saw a police car drive by…
It wasn’t until I was sixteen and a girl named Sophia
Explained after laughing for twenty minutes about my claim,
“So you can’t go to jail for that?”
“Masturbation isn’t illegal?”
“So you won’t have hairy palms, go blind, or go insane?”
I was relieved to discover that the wondrous exploration of self-pleasure
That platform of personal organized eager acts of love had no ties to the law…
No bologna sandwiches or little hug juices,
Just an ambitious breathless journey to
That seventh letter in the alphabet for a new pair of shoes…
Kelly “Native Child” Mays is a School-Based Therapist for Hegira Programs, Inc, teaches community education classes at the YMCA, as well as facilitates numerous groups in her community aimed at emotional growth. She received her Bachelors of Science from Central Michigan University in Community Development, and her Masters of Science from the University of Phoenix in Mental Health Counseling. Currently she is pursuing her Doctorate in Counseling from Walden University.