Category: Poetry

As I sit in the midst of the silence,

despising the lack of sound from my cell phone with nothing to notify me

I wonder did I compromise my sanity

in-order to try a new thing

went out on a limb,

got expressive with my pen and have no idea what to expect

even though I expect what I think will be anything other than a yes

I can’t help but be depressed at the possibility that my repressed emotions,

came out at the wrong moment and I got to learn to just hold it

but then again I keep telling myself stop living life

insanely

you got to try some new things

but does that mean I have the right to invade your personal space

with my overwhelming expectations

this dreaded anticipation of nothing, of everything, of anything

I just hope you’ll say something so we can go back to being friends and

put this whole thing behind us or if you prefer in front of us

which I kinda doubt, but

I can’t speak for you

so true that I just kinda dumped it in your lap, all this crap

and hope that you don’t wish to dust away the trail we have already blazed

the fuck!

uuuuuuuugh why can’t I just keep my mouth shut

friends are so rare but I just had to take it there and be honest about my feelings

stupid! stupid! stupid!

I am a motha fucking genius!

nothing short of the realization of the monstrous possibility that I  have lost a friend

over excessive fucking honesty!

now I am trapped in this bitch-ass silence

wondering why I went off the deep end with my damn pen

is this a fucking trend that in order to achieve peace of mind and leave no stone unturned

in my existence and no maybe floating in the distance, I may essentially risk the precious

companionship of friendship

and die alone and barren in my own attempt to try some new shit!!!

what the fuck am I tripping for, perhaps impatiently pontificating

I mean it hasn’t even been a long enough period of time to start fucking arguing with myself

and wtf if the problem is you

maybe you aren’t the motha fucka I thought, no wait you are and consistently have been

I am fucking trippin’ for no apparent reason

my insecurities need to be sleepin’

misinterpreted the nature of  years’ worth of friends I accepted

and you so unexpected

guess it’s the overall fear of rejection that

has my heart palpating

mind racing, wondering what exactly you’re contemplating

in silence I’m waiting

debating if I should never mind it

and put behind these thoughts and toss

it in my life’s recycle bin

but then again there is always

the safety of maybe

This Featured Poem is part of a collection of poetry available in my first published book.Love this poem? Want some more Subscribe to my mailing list for updates on posts.