Tag: Keisha D
Be Thankful and ish…..
Thanksgiving and the holiday season are the time of year when we talk about being thankful but very rarely practice it. Being thankful and ultimately grateful are key practices in leading a peaceful fulfilling existence. So now you are probably wondering how do I go about being thankful on a regular basis? Well today I have four quick tips to help get you going in the right direction.
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Consider the True Value of Things
So this seems simple, in any city on any given day you can come across someone who is down and out on life. The goal of this however is not to pity others as a way to be grateful for where you are in life. It also is not about comparing yourself to others. This process is actually more about being mindful. It is a silent non stressful acknowledgement that all of our circumstances can change on a dime. Everything that we have and hold dear can be lost in an instant, so what are the things that truly matter? Every Material thing we have can be lost and replaced. The people we loose, the lifetimes we waste, none of things can ever be given back to us.
2. Volunteer
In today’s modern society finding the time to care for yourself let alone a stranger can be an overwhelming task. Spending time in service to others is refreshing to the spirit and the soul. The love and gratitude you receive from helping another individual is immense and moving on a deeper level. Even though you get more out of it then you give, it is important to go into the situation with an open mind and heart to give. If you approach the situation with the mindset that “those people” should be appreciative for what you are doing for them you will miss everything that you could have gotten from the moment.
3. Appreciate the Small Things
Life is full of a thousand little miracles, but when everyday is moving at the speed of light it can be easy to walk right by something spectacular. The Simpler things in life that we take for granted, like the sunrise and set. Your warm breath materializing in front of your eyes on a cold winter day, or the sweat beading on your brow in the summertime. It is such a blessing to be able to see ad feel and experience such simple but magnificent things. Seeing, hearing and feeling can be so easily taken for granted if they are a part of your everyday life. The next time you start your take a moment to notice all the little things and find a way to grateful for them. Even if its your neighbor’s annoying dog that barks constantly take a moment to be grateful for the gift of hearing.
4. Change the Way You See Yourself
Perspective is defined by dictionary.com as being the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship. One of the first and most relevant relationships you have is with yourself. The way that you view your life and who you are affects how you relate to others in your world. This perspective ultimately defines how you interact with the world around you. For example if you believe something negative about yourself, whether it is true to others becomes irrelevant to an extent because you make it true by believing it about yourself. Changing your perspective can open your life up to new experiences, new chances and new reasons to be thankful.
Although change can be difficult it is a worthy endeavor when the cause is to improve your life, its quality and inherent value. So until next time keep growing, keep changing and be thankful and ish……
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Fell Off the Celibacy Wagon……
It is no secret that my journey in being and remaining celibate has been a struggle. It is also one that I ultimately lost a few battles with. At the time it was so easy to succumb to my most primal of desires. Sex is like a drug because it activates the same hormone pathways in your brain. Naturally, I found myself guilt ridden and angry afterwards. I had managed to maintain my self control for 18 months, only to flush it all and be back at square one in a matter of minutes.
So why does it even matter so much? Well first there is the understanding that my situation won’t change until I do. In the process of deciding what things I yield some level of control over in life and what things I wanted to do differently, having a sexual relationship very easily ended up on the chopping block.
Even though I have a pretty healthy relationship with sex and my personal sexuality; I wanted a different relationship overall with sex itself. Sex in many ways I felt clouded my judgement. Being caught in the patriarchal paradigm of what it means in society for a woman to have the audacity to have had more than one partner can leave many a woman (myself included) locked in a less than favorable situation. Therefore in an effort to master myself, and also find the traits I value most in a mate, I put sex on the shelf.
So I’m sure some of are wondering if it was worth it. All I can say to that is in this instance satisfaction is subjective. In the moment was it enjoyable absolutely. Was it worth it in relation to my long-term goals and desires? Probably not.
The sexual encounter was an entirely selfish interaction. I was only concerned with I wanted in that moment there was no give and take. Its important to note that I’m not referring to a physical reciprocity, but rather an emotional one. I now see sex between two uncommitted people as an act of aggression. They both take something from each other they can never give back.
In the process of forgiving myself, I was able to reflect positively on the things I learned about myself through falling short of my goal temporarily. First I reminded myself that even though I was made perfectly my actions won’t always reflect that. I’m human and mistakes and failure come with the job description. Whether or not I learn from them or dwell in them is a choice. A competitor by design I can’t stand when I fall short, but the champion in me is always satisfied to finish. Even though I lost this round and let it drive me a bit bananas; I’m back on the wagon and not looking back.